And still, I love you.

Day 1 of the many days to come

That was the longest and loneliest ride back home. I am not alone. I am with you, actually. But that ride took me to places I don't want to be. It flew me to the distant place where I can see you far from me. It brought me to the place where I can feel that you won't be discovering with me.

I asked you for this. I felt like we needed this. But I know that the moment you said yes to me, that is the same moment I said yes to having days without you beside me..feeling you, hearing you or just reading your name flash on my screen. Yep, you said yes, when I asked for a space.. A space which will draw us apart.. A space which will separate us from discovering each other. But I believe that it will also be the same space where I will find my place. It came to me.. just now.. that the moment I lost you, is the same moment I will find time to find me.

On that day, you send me home.. for the last time. I looked at you, while you're walking away, and slowly, I can feel myself tearing apart. I can feel every bit of my heart adjusting.. taking its time to get used to not having that spot where you used to be. I didn't know that it will be this painful. I didn't expect that I will be missing a lot. As I take my last glance at you, I had my deepest breathe.. thinking that it could help..

I had a hard time.. the hardest time closing that gate, which used to be the witness of every hello we used to have.. of every goodnight we used to say.. but now, it's become a witness of our goodbye. The kind of goodbye which we are note sure of.. the kind of goodbye which we didn't know when will be the next hello..

I'm glad I had you.
I'm glad I loved you.
And still, I love you.

Please know that I will be here, waiting.. Until we're both ready.
I know that no matter how far we wander, we will always find our way back together.